[Insert title here]

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so. **This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

I want to be everything I want to be. 

Even for a moment. 

I wan to go wherever I wanna be. 

Even if it last just like a blink of an eye.

I want to feel whatever I wanna feel. 

Even just for today.

But I open my eyes, and I see reality, 

popping through the windows, saying 

"you can't get everything you want dear."

Sometimes I think the reason why I can't get there is that because I let those whispers of despair and limitation always get me. How can I freakinang'na move forward if I always end up doubting myself?

Sometimes I feel courageous. Sometimes I'm the cowardly [insert pet name here]. I want the adventure, but I fail my own adventure. Because I sit right here, all day long, in front of my computer, trying to write about my shitty self and trying to talk people into it, and sometimes I read my own post and say, "who is this [insert adjective here] blogger trying to look good and lovely and cheery and happy, ngiting aso pa??"

Is this really me? After days of being positive on my other kabilang blog, I still manage to dig out my buried pity for myself, once again. 

How many times will I feel that I'm a nobody? I feel rejected. Ang nakapagtataka, nobody  treats me shitty, but I still feel shitty. Nobody ever shout at me and say, "You [insert foul word here], can you work your butt out there and make your own debit card?" No, no one ever treats me as if I'm a pain in their [insert body part]. 

Oo, mentally disturb kahit wala naman dahilan.

 Having a lot of time to think makes me psychotic sometimes, or maybe most of the time.