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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I learned about it


**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so.

**This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

People may be unkind,
just be kind

They may cheat,
just be honest

They may forget your deeds,
just do good.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Its hard to see yourself  in a mirror. You need someone to say it on your face.
Maybe because as a child we are sometimes fixated in an egocentric environment where
life is morelikely self-centered. Focusing only on one's feelings, needs, wants, rights and reasons.

As a growing child I experienced many mistakes and encountered different affections. Later, I realized that everything happens for a cause. Every details of life happens for a reason.

When I started accepting thoughts and opinions of other human beings, I started living. Slowly analyzing that I am not the center of the world, people don't breathe and live for me, and the world does not revolve around me.

Changing. 

Of course changing does not happen in just a snap. Learning pays time. You won't change after reading this. You won't change, not until your ready for a change.

What I mean by change here is starting a journey to be mature enough to face the rest of your life. You will then feel that life gets easier, gets lighter and happier. You forgive and forget easily. You could establish enough patience so not to rise a temper. You could give yourself to try to understand people who had mistaken you and understand people's feelings. You'll be stressing yourself less and be wiser.

You won't understand it by merely being aware about it. You'll understand it when you experienced it. When you see yourself on another person. When you see your reflection. When you see it on a mirror that says all your beauty and also your sluggishness.

I can't ask you to change for me. The same as no one could change for you. Change yourself because you want to.

I am totally aware that I learned so much in life. But still imperfect as I am, sometimes its a pity I still act very selfishly.

Maybe because learning does not stop after you had learned. Changing is constant and learning is spontaneous as breathing and living is.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Maykel


**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so.

**This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.


Me and maykel have been together for such years. (I stop counting for how many months then its been). So how did we really started?

If you'd asked me three years ago, maybe I had answered you, "My aunt did the job."

Well to answer it generally, yah it's my aunt. Not my real aunt, but I consider her a relative. Maybe this story would not be a cue for a very long and strong relationship we are having now, but yes you know it, whe started as textmates. 

I could actually remember some, though I'm a short term memory kind of a person. I could remember the details, thanks for the help of all my goody old diaries, I have lots of them.

Too long to say everything, but I met him exactly April 27, 2005..that was thursday. I could remember my phone landed on the bathroom sink that time, my Nokia 3315. It started right there. UNLIMITED TEXT was a boom! I even exchanged those pondo ng pinoy for a 5 days UNLITXT.

It was summer, and I really felt slimmer that days. I could still remember my body shrinking through my shirts that time. I never thought our relationship would get really serious, but it did.

For the F-A-C-T, he become my boyfriend long before we met (who cares..). I answered him on text, last June 23, 2005 11:45pm.. 15 minutes beofre midnight. In short when we met in SM south for the first time on July 30, 2005, we are dating with commitment already (not too ashamed). 

Then September 11, 2005, 2 years after the bombing in USA (twin towers). My mom cooked Menudo and Pansit for his visit. I can't even remember how it drain on my system to actually bring him home. My dad interviewed him so.

Maykel was my first love and my first kiss. And I guess the last.

The rest of the moments..well I stopped writing on my diary because I get allured to other things and so.

Our relationship was fortified by the distance, I think.

But then, the reality says that its not on the destiny and fate how you met, but on the way you handle your relationship.

And the most endearing part of our life is that our relationship is totaly legal to our parents.

I'm not saying either the both of us are just good in handling our relationship. Maybe we are just too serious of our hearts beating or maybe too much teleserye watching.

I hate the fact that I could not resist anymore of the feelings that we are now sharing. Not bursting or anything, but, there is something in us that words are not enough to explain. 


"sa chowking habang kumakain"


I love you hunee. Happy Valentines Day :)
Happy Valentines to all of us.


..mom..mom..mom..

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so.

**This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.


my mom, cooking
I love you
and
I miss you
You are my body and my soul

Don't worry for GOD
is there
between the skies and the universe
He'll take care of you, guide you.

I close my eyes and pray:

"Lord, Take care of my mom
for she's far away from our embrace.
No one to hug, no one to kiss, no one to care."

"Don't make her cry and fear"

May she always remember that we love her so dear
and that her
presence and essence
couldn't be replace by
anyone nor everyone."

"May she always remember that my dad loves her inspite
of the spikes and mistakes
he had done."

May she be reminded that we do love her so much,
though hoping she'll come home soon."

Mommy, I love you and I mis you.
I promise you'll be my only mother, the only one.
I promise that I'll do my best on studies and someday
be a fruitful child of yours.

I promise I'll be a lovable and pretty lady you wanted me to be.
I'll promise to keep my virginity and
don't let myself get preggy.

I'll be strong to whatever I may encounter on my way.

I promise I will love my dad and my brothers as you do.
I will be strong as what you are now.

Someday I'll be someone you wish me to be.
i'll take care of you and repay you.
I will serve you all my life.

All my life.

Even when the moment comes that I have my
own career, own life, own family and child.

I will love you mom so everlastingly.

I love you goodnight mom.