Gloomy Christmas

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so. **This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

I can't remember how we celebrated Christmas 5 years ago, but what makes that Christmas memorable still is that my family is complete and absolute to together celebrate that eve. It was also the first Christmas we had our tall Christmas tree, which my dad and mom bought from Divisoria for a very cheap price.

Anyway, the next three Christmas after that, we celebrated without our mom, and just last year without both my parents. That's because their busy working their butt outside the country. But at least on those incomplete special eve of the year, my brother don't forget to set up the blinking lights and of course the Christmas Tree. I used to cover and wrap fake gifts just to make the bottom of the Christmas Tree seems filled with happiness.

Each day of those 5 years was like independence day without our parents with us. Then on every Christmas day, one of my Christmas wish was to have my family back in a round table, sharing all those yummy foods on Christmas eve! But I bet, Santa Claus can't afford what my parents want for our future. Yet, I never stop on dreaming, and believing.

This year, I left my two brothers 1 month before Christmas, and now we're even wrecked and mess up than before. After leaving them, I found out that on the mere future, there will be no round tables for any of us. How awful was that? I felt like my high dreamy hopes stop from there on.

I don't want to ruined the season to be jolly! And actually I do love Christmas!! I'm not a Grinch, even if I can be for all this reasons. And that makes me ask myself why I even bother to start this post. And maybe just because I need something to lead this poem I made:


I wrote to Santa Claus with glimmering eyes,
for next day I'll open a package, sure full of surprise!
But as I open my present, it is not there
instead a dozen of chocolate I can share.

It's been just like yesterday I'm a child who believe
that every wish list I make there's a probable gift.
However there's always a reason why Santa never did
gave me a bike as a Christmas treat.

The Santa is half the mom who makes my meal
and half the dad who pays the bill.
My mama and dadi never did afford
to buy me a single bike I wish to hold

My folks are all nothing but oh so weary
decided to bend just to make some money
Until then and later I believe
No cash of dollar did made me thrilled or filled or happy or content or satisfy or whatever

What they dashingly need to know was I'm all fulfilled
with the dozen of chocolate they had give
It is not on my list but it was a pleasure.
It made me happy of what I think is forever




PS: this is originally made for my TUMBLR, but decided to share it here na din!! :)