Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so. **This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

Hello. Kung napadaan ka lang kahapon dito, meron akong post about this. Pero parang di ko ma feel na satisfied ako, kaya eto binago ko. Sorry. Fickle na naman. At kung gusto mo gumaya sa 30 day project na ito, feel free to do so.

I would typically say na gusto ko mag-travel abroad and learn about the finest thing there, or malaman kung ano yung iba't ibang culture and tradition nung mga bansa na mapupuntahan ko. Pero ang dami pa mangyayari bago maging stable, ang dami pa dapat unahin bago ko isipin yung sarili ko. Hindi naman mura ang mag travel around the world di ba? Except kung mayaman ka na talaga, which I'm not.

Siguro, ang masasabi ko na lang ngayon, gusto ko makapagtapos ng college. Pero I wish mag-repeat ako ulit mula first year (pero wag naman din sana). To learn from the start and learn from the heart. I'm not a good student, I tried nung first year ako, pero nawala yung effort ko, as if I know even na mababa lang makuha ko, I would still pass and get my diploma in the end. Pero now, iba na goal ko, I want to gain knowledge.





Make your own animation

Nung una, hindi ko naman talaga gusto course ko eh, I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to be a creative artist, I wanted to be a musician, I wanted to be a photographer. And right now, my skills on those are at its least level (as in least pa sa novice) at inggitera ako sa lahat ng nasa ibabaw ngayon.

Pero lam mo nung nag-aaral na ako sa course na 'to, then I learned that I could perform it well, dun na nag-gain yung interest ko. Although nursing is more different than any of what I had dreamt of, gusto ko pa din tapusin 'to. Pero nalulungkot lang ako kase hindi talaga ako nag-focus, I mean, some of my friends would ask me questions that as a nursing student maybe I could answer, pero wala ako masagot. Yung instance na kunyare bigla kayo napunta sa topic about sa diseases, tapos parang di ka naman sure kung anong isasagot mo sa kanila, parang nanliliit ako, kase years had passed pero likely na wala pa din akong alam.

I'm out of school right now, and hopefully next year I can continue what I have started. And I hope I can be someone doing her best to learn and gain knowledge when that happens. Sometimes I even think of studying medicine to be a M.D, totoo, parang ambisyosa ba ako? Pero naiisip ko ang tagal pa mag-aaral, saan ako kukuha ng pera, how can I help my family if I'll be a burden for much longer years, and where would I put my time for my other ambitions in life? Such as writing? Parang ang ikli ng panahon, hindi ko alam saan ilulugar yung mga pangarap ko at ayuko tumanda ng hindi ako makalingon kase alam kong hindi ko natupad mga pangarap ko.

Maybe someday when I finish college, when I'm already working, siguro dun pa lang ako pwede makapag-decide kung pwede ako mag M.D., and maybe somehow, kahit hindi ko maging profession ang pagiging manunulat o pagiging isang artist, or kahit di ako magaling tumugtog ng gitara, or hindi ako magkaroon ng professional camera, maybe I could still make my dreams come true through little things, such as this, blogging.

Hay bigla nag run ang mga image ng mga pangarap ko sa isip ko, ang dami dami. Tapos I wanted to travel abroad pa di ba? Woooh. Hopeful ako. <3