Hay naku

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so. **This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

When I was in first year high school....

our T.H.E teacher told us about "A house is not a home" song.

I wondered by that time the essence of that song...

At yun...

God made me realize it..

for a very long running time--the meaning of it.

I'm not blaming God for

this eternal sadness I'm feeling right now..

pero... huhuhuhu...

sobrang yun na lang ang umiikot sa isip ko...

My parents are abroad.

My elder brother has his own family and

I'm in a misunderstanding with my another brother.

I feel alone.

I'm getting really excited to go home

in Laguna every weekend,

but it's like I'm just visiting

another rented boarding house.

I can't help but to get jealous to people

who have their moms and dads at home.

Someone to surprise them for a special celebration.

Someone to clean the house

that it won't look like haunted house.

Someone to care at someone

na mag-aalala sayo pag gabi ka na umuuwi.

Nakakahiya magpapunta ng kaibigan sa bahay

kase sobrang dumi ng bahay.

Not like what it used to be

when it was renovated last last year.

And then when you see other houses..

maliit pero malinis at madaming tao.

One reason din na lage

akong nasa piling ni maykel..

is that at their house madaming tao..

madaming kausap..

wala kang maiisip na malungkot....

marami kang kasalo kumaen... alam niyo yun?

People might get the

wrong idea sa min ni maykel...

na lage kame magkasama...

sa bahay nila..

sa bahay dito sa laguna..

sa bulacan.. e

verywhere!!

pero that what makes me happy now...

being with him...

Sobrang incomplete...

ng buhay ko ngayon..

pero nanjan siya para punuan lahat.

=(

pero syempre that does not make

everything perfect and happy na di ba?

I'm still longing for my mom... for my dad...

for a happy family eating at a round table..

and i don't even know if that is POSSIBLE!

I don't know how would my

wishes and prayers be answered...

in what way possible...

but i'm still hoping.

Huhu.. ang lungkot...

and all your sadness at pag-eemote feeling

ng mga tao naghahanap

ka lang ng bagay na isusulat.. pero hindi.

Yun na talaga estado mo sa buhay na

hindi mo mabura.. na araw-araw mo na iisip..

I would not choose to be lonely para sa

buhay kong toh..

sayang ang oras... sayang ang panahon....

.......... hay naku