Mommy come home...

**I've been importing in this blog all of my previous posts from my old blogs. I want to merge everything because I felt there is a sense of security in doing so. **This page right here was actually a blog post from my late blog, “ROAD TO KILL”. The blog itself was deleted but I never deleted my writings. I love all of the masterpieces I made from the past, beautiful, ugly, good or bad writings will always be kept! And I just decided today (February 9, 2013) to publish again all of these masterpieces in one site! Dates are preserved by the way.

Mommy come home.

I waked up my eyes are swallow. I was crying last night because I missed my mom. Think about it, another year without her? I hate this feeling that I actually don't have the right to please her to come home.

So, my mom had been working abroad for morethan 2 years I guess. She's really doing it, she's working hard. She had gave (and still giving) us all.

And I hate myself. Guilt consciousness pressed me. My studies this year? I'm a failure. I felt like everything is in a spontaneous reaction where there are neither pause nor resume.

i am afraid

that i can't be the

one she had dreamed me

to be.

I wanted to ask her to come home and live together in a simple life, but, I think that's only a wierd alibi for myself to wreck my course. You see, I prefer to study arts and writing.

For real, I missed my Mom. It's hard. I'd never dreamed to be Miss Independent.

In the end, no choice but to continue my course, and so my mom continue to work there in LA, and I need to have good grades, and pass the board exam (which is far way across the country, across the world, across the heaven), and work abroad. What an art!

I don't know why all of us need to suffer. It's pathetic.